Holy Water From A Helicopter

The bishop of the local Diocese, Monsignor Rubén Darío Jaramillo Montoya, has come up with a never before heard of idea in order to deal with an unfortunate increase in both corruption and violence in Buenaventura, the Colombian port city which has reached an all time high for reported crimes.

What he proposes is the best solution is in fact to use a Navy helicopter with the aim of showering the violent city with holy water in a mass exorcism. The bishop believes that this is the only way to remove all the evil that has been going around.

The bishop hopes to gain the support of the Navy in order to rid the demons from the city, and has actually managed to schedule this rather historical event for July thirteenth, during the same when the annual saints festivities will be taking place.

The Catholic bishop believes that there is a devil living in the Colombian city, and that peace and quiet needs to be restored. He expresses that by doing such a process from above, from the air, the holy water will be best spread to all of these demons that have been highly destructive to the city.  

By doing so from above, it will also help God’s blessing to come, and remove the evil that has taken over the streets.

He made this announcement to the public that such action would be taken after a ten year old girl was found dead in Buenaventura. The young girl’s uncle came forward and admitted that he was responsible for her death. This is only one of far too many harsh crimes that have taken place lately in the city, with fifty one reported deaths in just the past five months.

The port city has also become a hot spot for drugs to be smuggled into the United States. Let’s hope this mass exorcism is the answer.

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